Catching up

I’ve been occupied beyond capacity for the last month. Here’s a few lines to get you up to date.

November 13

Words I hear perpetually at work: He pushed me. I wasn’t talking. Johnny’s bleeding. Can I go to the bathroom? Would you tie my shoes? She took my place. Suzy is crying. Can you button my pants? I didn’t do it.

Words I hear often enough to go back the next day: Can we sing it again? I love that. The drums are so cool. Can I play the guitar too?

An actual conversation I had today. (The names have been changed.)

(The students are in groups all across the front of the room, all of them have instruments, most of them are playing and shouldn’t be at this moment.)

Chuck, “Mr. Fuchtman, Mr. Fuchtman, Mr. Fuchtman, Mr. Fuchtman.” (Fast)

Me, “Please raise your hand Chuck.”

Chuck, “Mr. Fuchtman, Mr. Fuchtman, Mr. Fuchtman.”

Me, “Yes Chuck.”

Chuck, “Frankie is humping me.”

Me, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Chuck, “Frankie is humping me.”

Frankie, “I am not!”

Me, “What do you mean?”

Chuck, “Frankie is humping me.”

Frankie, “I am not.”

Me, (long pause, thankful that the other 25 students are playing loudly enough that no one is hearing this conversation) “Frankie, quit humping Chuck.”

That seemed to resolve the issue.

November 4

All my kids and grandkids are here. It’s beautiful.

After church Mark and Andy took me paint balling. That was fun, and I drove home looking like an Andy Warhol canvas. I opened the door from the garage and found myself face to face with a houseful of friends and family shouting “Surprise.” Scared the hell out of me.

I never had a surprise party before. It was just great fun. If you’re going to turn 50 you should at least do it with friends. I felt like I was 10 years old!

November 1

I turned 50 years old today. My friends at school had a little party at lunch time, and I spoke to all my kids at one point or another. After school I filmed a rehearsal for two hours. Then rushed home to teach lessons until 9:00. No sense slowing down just because I have officially reached old age.

October 16, 2007

Life is full of disappointments – I found out today that sauerkraut has absolutely no nutritional value.

October 13 (or so)

Fried Food

I visited the Texas State Fair for the first time.

I ate as much of the famous fried food I could handle: A Texas Fair Corn Dog, Fried Frito Burrito, Fried Peach Cobbler on a Stick, Mega Texas Nachos, and Fried Cookie Dough. I did not try: Fried Coke, Fried Alligator, Fried Snickers, or Fried Twinkies.

I rode the “Texas Star” which is a huge Ferris Wheel, saw the requisite sheep, cows, horses, and an 800 pound hog. Swine get my vote for the ugliest living being on the planet, and they smell worse. 800 pounds is a lot of ugly.

It seems I can find a Hungarian anywhere. There was a troupe of dancing Hungarians who I watched and then met and practiced my Hungarian with.

I saw several buildings worth of stuff with ribbons on it, and a museum with the world’s tallest card structure – over 17 feet tall made entirely from playing cards. No glue, just gravity. Only in Texas…